Are you “picking my brain” for advice or validation?

The greatest thing about the internet is that no matter how crazy your opinion, you’re going to be able to find some site somewhere that appears credible that happens to back you up 100%.

And you know what that’s cool? You don’t have to take me to lunch to get the experience.

This isn’t a rant, per se, but a general observation as someone who’s known in his social circles as a guy who knows something about “that internet thing” which for these purposes is a topic that encompasses websites, social media, startups, iPhones, and everything in between.  It’s like the old days pre-web where if you said you worked in computers people automatically assumed you could fix their printer, because that’s what computer people did before the web, but now it’s broader, thankfully, kind of.

The thing is, in 95% of the cases where I’ve followed up, my advice isn’t taken unless it sounds very much like “yes, that’s exactly what you should do, I agree completely.”

And to some, the solution to that is to charge a consulting fee for your advice, so at least people are quote unquote serious about your time. And yes, this at least gets you compensated in more ways than a lunch, but it doesn’t escape the core conceptual problem, in that your advice is valued directly by how much it provides validation to the initial line of thinking from the asker.

There is a reason why many people view consultants (the ones who get repeat business, anyway,) as people who are very good at taking what you say, reformulating it, and charging you to hear it repeated.  I’m not saying that’s true, and frankly it’s a bit cynical, but the fact that it’s observed at all means the pattern exists enough, and probably with good reason.

So before you ask me, or anyone else what you should do about something, ask yourself in advance: what will your reaction be if the feedback is the opposite of where you’re hoping it’ll go?

(Again, not a rant, and not based on any recent of distant experiences in particular. More of an idea I’m trying to live by, on both sides of that lunch table.)

Free advice (that hopefully validates) via photo from functoruser